Washington – Foreign-born insurgent fascist president Barack Hussein Obama allowed Republicans to win pick up nearly 70 seats in The House and eleven governorships, baffling critics and conspiracy nutcases, Tuesday.

“It’s clearly a ploy to make us think… uhhh… You know what, just asking that question makes you no better than Obama,” said Murray Wadsman, a Nebraskan conspiricist and author of the book Eat, Pray, Love, Obama is Satan.

So-called "president" imagines plot to destroy America.

In an Match.com profile post, Wednesday morning, Sarah Palin conceded that Obama was behind the GOP wins on election day and implicated a vast conspiracy to take away the American people’s guns.  “The LAMESTREAM media aren’t reporting that Obama tampered with ballots in all fifty states just to distract us from his plot to send his unions out to invade our homes and take our guns.  But we’re not falling for it.  Watch my new show Sarah Palin’s Alaska this fall on TLC.”

In a memo to DNC chair Tim Caine leaked to The Scallion, Obama said “Excellent.  I see our plan is well under way.  The stupid American people are falling right into our trap, no?  Soon, we will destroy them, comrade.  Allah is Great.”

What’s that?  Yes, it’s a very reliable source.  I can’t tell you.  Just somebody I know.  No!  It’s one of my contacts!  No, you can’t see the document!  Security!  Security!  Arrest this person!

Ahem.  Where were we?  Oh, yeah.  Obama’s a fascists, election results evidence of it, etc…